This impulsivity may stem, in part, from witnessing a parent make decisions in a similar way. If your parent has AUD, you may be more likely to act without planning or considering potential consequences. “Some people become harsh when intoxicated,” says White. Experiencing these behaviors from a parent can also wear down your self-worth over time. All of these behaviors can make it more difficult to form healthy, satisfying relationships. As a result, Peifer says you could have difficulty accepting love, nurturing, and care from partners, friends, or others later in life.
When you grow up in a home with one or more alcoholic parents, the impact of the dysfunction reverberates throughout your life. Many children with parents who struggle with addiction also experience feelings of low self-esteem or low self-worth. Fear of abandonment in relationships is another major challenge many children who had a parent struggle with addiction experience. Unhealed trauma contributes to ACS, causing ongoing mental health issues and difficulties in forming healthy relationships. It is characterized by emotional struggles and behavior patterns that persist from childhood into adulthood. We offer research-based addiction treatment that addresses underlying issues like ACoA Trauma Syndrome and co-occurring mental health disorders.
It’s common for parents addicted to alcohol to show affection inconsistently.4 One moment they may be loving, while the next they’re cold or cruel. According to one study, 85% of reported child abuse cases involve alcohol.2 Child neglect is also common. Whichever camp you’re in, it’s important to remember that whether or not you develop issues from your childhood is not a reflection of your character.
What’s more, children who had to act as parents to their own parents may go on to believe it’s their responsibility to take care of others, which can lead to codependent relationships. And while many ACoAs enter adulthood without any long-lasting effects,1 some people continue to experience problems stemming from trauma during their childhood. According to a study by the National Association of Children of Alcoholics (NACOA), there are over 11 million children in the U.S. under the age of 18 living in families with at least one alcoholic parent.
What is the impact of adult child syndrome on relationships?
Talk therapy one-on-one or group counseling, somatic experiencing, and EMDR are highly effective in addressing the signs of trauma and developing new, healthy coping mechanisms. This includes an increase in rates of depression, substance abuse, and challenges in interpersonal relationships. The statistics provided by multiple sources further break this down to about 76 million adults in the country who have lived or are currently living with a family history of alcoholism. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support your recovery. This is because, from a young age, they experience a lack of trust, love, and attention from their parents, which can inevitably make that individual grow up to be distrustful of others for fear of getting hurt. This is because they may have interpreted their parent’s absence in their youth as a sign that they were not worthy of their parent’s love which can transfer into adulthood.
With therapy and support, ACOAs can make changes in their life and treat the underlying PTSD and trauma. Unfortunately, children confuse a parent’s addiction and inconsistency in being a present and healthy parent as the child not being worthy of their parent’s love. Because many young children oftentimes don’t understand what addiction is, they may view their parent’s inconsistent parenting or abandonment of them as the child not being worthy of their parent’s love and attention. Professional counseling helps individuals identify and change dysfunctional behaviors learned in childhood, breaking the cycle of negativity and fostering healing.
Frequently Asked Questions About Adult Child Syndrome
Even if you don’t have a diagnosed mental health condition, the trauma of your childhood can affect you in many ways. In addition to these mental health conditions, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a common result of growing up with a parent addicted to alcohol.19 Instability in your childhood can affect your mental health17 into adulthood.
Take Back Control of Your Life in Rehab
The goal is to interrupt your regular patterns of reacting to emotional situations and replace them with more positive behaviors. And you can work through your struggles through a variety of therapy methods. And attending a residential program allows you to take a step back to give you space to re-evaluate your life. And if you’re not sure if a rehab you’re looking into offers informed support, you can always call their admissions team to ask.
- Accurate, complete profiles best connect you with the right people for your services.
- You’re also put in the position of having to “parent” yourself in a dysfunctional home.
- As a result of the relationship dynamics in your family, you may feel terrified of abandonment or have difficulty with intimate relationships.
- You probably didn’t get a lot of affirmation from your alcoholic parents.
Given the many social, political and environmental issues young adults face today, it’s not surprising that being an adult seems scary. In addition, they had to suppress hard feelings, like sadness, fear, or anger, in order to survive childhood. Children who grow up in these circumstances are at risk for adult child syndrome.
How does adult child syndrome develop?
Growing up with an alcoholic parent also affects your physical health. Childhood abuse also increases your risk of addiction in adulthood.14 This could be because of a genetic predisposition for addiction, or because you learned to cope with stress by drinking after watching your parent do the same. In fact, issues stemming from addicted parenting can still impact older adults. But the truth is that your needs are important too, and learning how to communicate them is essential in adult relationships.
Mental Health
On the flip side, some children growing up with addicted parents fully reject any responsibility.8 They become dependent on others for functioning. Parental alcohol addiction increases a child’s risk of sexual and physical abuse. No matter how your childhood affects you in the long term, rehabs that treat trauma can help you release the hurt of a childhood affected by alcohol. Growing up with a parent addicted to alcohol can make for a difficult childhood. Researched, fact-checked and transparent articles and guides that offer addiction and mental health insight from experts and treatment professionals. Every month, 150,000 people search for addiction or mental health treatment on Recovery.com.
- It can take a lifetime for adult children of alcoholics to repair the emotional damage from their childhood.
- Growing up with a parent addicted to alcohol can make for a difficult childhood.
- If your parents abused substances, you may have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism.
- Contact us today to learn more about how we can support your recovery.
Emotional Dysregulation
Many ACoAs have trouble both forming and maintaining healthy relationships,15 especially romantic ones. ACoAs are adult children of alcoholic trauma syndrome up to 10 times more likely to become addicted to alcohol13 themselves. But the result is that you never learn how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. Through rehab and therapy, you can develop the skills to be able to mindfully react to feelings without feeling threatened. Witnessing a parent’s rage at a young age is frightening. So you didn’t have a chance to learn how to manage your emotions or react to others’ emotions in a positive way.
You may develop a sense of responsibility for the alcoholic’s feelings and actions, which can lead to codependency and other challenges with future relationships. Children who grow up in alcoholic homes learn quickly to be on high alert most of the time. Drug and alcohol abuse impact the reward center of the brain, and you can develop mental health symptoms as a result. Mental health issues can be a symptom of adverse childhood experiences. If your mother or father abused alcohol or drugs, they may have had underlying mental health conditions, putting you at higher risk for them.
Maybe your parent was irritable, easily aggravated, or verbally or emotionally abusive while drinking or in withdrawal. Knowing you couldn’t count on your caregiver for emotional support could also diminish your sense of self-esteem, according to Amanda E. White, licensed professional counselor and founder of the Therapy for Women Center. And growing up with a parent with addiction makes it feel even more so. When you’re a child, life is mostly out of your control. Some rehabs also offer Al-Anon meetings, specifically for loved ones of people with addiction. One treatment option that can help ACOAs is family therapy.
That said, you are four times more likely to develop it than someone who doesn’t have a parent with AUD. Having a parent with AUD doesn’t automatically mean you’ll develop the condition yourself. Difficulty expressing and regulating emotions can affect your overall well-being and contribute to challenges in your personal relationships. When you don’t learn how to regulate your emotions, you might find it more difficult to understand what you’re feeling and why, not to mention maintain control over your responses and reactions. If a parent living with AUD had a shorter temper and often lashed out at you unpredictably, you might have become conflict-averse. This state of hypervigilance is a common symptom of both post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and anxiety disorders.
Feelings of Worthlessness
Living with an alcoholic keeps your fight, flight, or freeze response in overdrive. You may grow up thinking alcohol or drug abuse isn’t a serious problem. When caretakers have lax attitudes around drinking alcohol, they normalize substance abuse.
In the absence of a stable, emotionally supportive enviornment, you learned to adapt in the only ways you knew how. Couples therapy can also have benefit, according to White, if you believe behaviors rooted in your childhood experiences have started to affect your romantic relationship. But a parent with AUD may not have been able to offer the support you needed here, perhaps in part because they experienced emotional dysregulation themselves.